BEYOND FANTASY AND REALITY

CALL ME A PARADOX..OR JUST CALL ME A MANUFACTURED PLASTIC ROBOT-PROTOTYPE.BLOGGING THIS WHILST ON 'MATHEMATICS' HIGH,SOMETIMES IN LIFE THERE WILL BE A PERIOD WHEN YOU GOT ALL JUMBLED UP...MESSING UP YOUR MIND.YES,PUTTING YOUR MIND TWENTY-FOUR-SEVEN NOW ON A SUBJECT FILLED WITH NUMERICAL WONDERS AND ALIEN EQUATIONS REALLY CAN LAND YOU ALL UP IN SPACE..A PLACE WHERE ILLUSION AND REALITY CLASHED..AND A LAND WHERE EUPHORIA IS SERVED WITH A TINGE OF SPINE-CHILLING FEAR.YES,I'M THAT CONFUSED..NOT EMOTIONAL.TOO MUCH NUMBER DIGITS HAS MADE ME INTO NOTHING BUT A ROBOTIC ORGANISM...AN IDENTITY SYMBOLISING NEUTRAL CONSCIENCE...I CAN'T EVEN 'DIFFERENTIATE' AND 'INTEGRATE' WHAT'S WRONG AND WHAT'S RIGHT...IT'S ALL BLURRED UP.STILL STRUGGLING WITHIN THE OTHER DIMENSIONS OF FORMULAS,I CAN'T EVEN FIND A DECENT WAY OUT OF THIS MADNESS....FAILURE LOOMS WITH THE OMINOUS TUNES OF EVIL FOGHORN...LET'S EMBRACE IT WITH AN OPEN ARM....

MATHEMATICS....R.I.P.

DEUCES

SO HERE I AM, GUILTY AS I LOOK...TRYING TO FIND THE ANSWER IN THE SEA OF QUESTIONS I'M DROWNING IN NOW.IS IT FATE..OR A TOTALLY GODLIKE MISTAKE THAT LANDS ME UP HERE IN THIS UPTIGHT POSITION??I'VE TRIED MY BEST TO UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE DETAIL,EVERY INCH AND EVERY ASPECT OF THE MATTER,HOWEVER,MY CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM STILL ARE THE INNER DEMONS THAT I CAN'T OVERCOME.EVIL THOUGHTS,PROVOKING SINS AND DEMONIC DIRTY LITTLE INTENTIONS ARE LINGERING IN MY MIND NOW..CAN I RESIST THE TEMPTATION???...I DON'T KNOW...STILL TRYING MY BEST HERE FROM GOING UNDER...LET'S JUST SAY GOODBYE TO MY ONCE NORMAL LIFE...AND RETURN TO THE LIFE OF AN INTROVERT...TEMPORARILY.PERIOD.

A PERFECT WORLD WITHOUT EXAMINATION

IMAGINE...
A WORLD WITHOUT EXAMINATION...
WHERE SURVIVAL SKILLS...
AND APPLICATION KNOWLEDGES
ARE TESTED BASED ON WORKING LIFE.

IMAGINE...
A WORLD WITHOUT TEST...
WHERE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST...
IS THE KEY TOWARDS HUMAN RIGHT..
TO KEEP BREATHING ON THE PLANET...

IMAGINE...
A WORLD WITHOUT PROBLEMS...
WHERE THE REALMS OF A STRESS-FREE UTOPIA EXISTED
AND WORKS WERE PURELY FOR THE MEANS OF ENJOYMENT..
AHH...

IMAGINE...
A WORLD WITHOUT JUDGEMENT..
WHERE PEOPLE DON'T SET HIGH EXPECTATIONS ON YOU..
AND ALL YOU CAN DO TO EARN THEIR RESPECT AND CONFIDENCE..
IS THROUGH YOUR HARDWORKS...
AND PERFORMANCES IN A SPECIFIC FIELD...

IMAGINE...
A WORLD FILLED WITH OPTIMUM PRODUCTIVITY,UBIQUITOUS EFFICIENCY..
AND JUSTIFIED MORALES
WITHOUT SETTING UP A PERMANENT IMPRESSION..
BASED ON YOUR CERTIFICATE EQUIVALENCY...

IMAGINE..XD.

I AM KINDNESS

IN TODAY'S POST,I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT A LIL' EXPERIENCE OF MINE WHILE BOARDING PUBLIC TRANSPORTS...A.K.A.COMMUTER LINE/LRT.LAST FEW WEEKS AGO, I WAS ON MY WAY TO KLCC ABOARDING THE LRT COACH, AND THERE CAME AN OLD LADY,STANDING FEEBLY ON THE MOVING GROUND.WELL,AWARE OF THE BAD SITUATION(ALL THE STUPID IGNORANT SEATED GOOD-FOR-NOTHING TEENAGERS AND THE OH-SO MODERATELY STUFFY COMPARTMENT SPACE.),I GAVE MY PLACE TO THE OLD LADY.SHE SMILED AT ME AND SAID THANK YOU,AND EVERYTHING CHANGES.THERE WERE THIS PARTICULARLY SEATED BARBARIC GROUP OF CHINESE HOOLIGANS DRESSED IN 'SEAFOOD' STYLE WHO STARTED TO LAUGH AND TEASE ME FOR BEING 'FAKE'...THIS BATCH OF UNCIVILIZED CREATURES STARTED TO USE RUDE YET PERVASIVE FOUL WORDS ON ME...WITHOUT EVEN GIVING A DAMN TO THE SURROUNDINGS.TO AVOID FURTHER TROUBLE,I WALKED MYSELF TO THE SUBSEQUENT COACH.WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE THESE???THEY WERE WORSE THAN ANIMALS....,AND MORE USELESS THAN ANY LITTERS.DAMN, SHAME ON YOU YOU UNEDUCATED FUCKERS!!!!!!!!GO GET A LIFE!!!!!!!OUR SOCIETY IS DEAD,THE FUTURE'S GONE...NUFF' SAID.

RIGHT..ERM..THAT WAS A RANT.

TODAY, I WENT BACK TO MY HOMETOWN(THAT'S WHY I'M BLOGGING NOW..XD).SO,ON MY WAY TO KL CENTRAL PLATFORM STATION IN THE COMMUTER LINE,THE SAME THING HAPPENED(MINUS THE HEARTLESS FREAKS...).AN OLD MAN ENTERED FROM THE CROWDED 'SERDANG' STATION..AND YES,THE SEATS WERE FULL,NOT EVEN A PERSON CARE TO GRANT HIM MINUTES OF RELAXING JOURNEY.WELL,WHAT TO DO,IT'S ME AGAIN.THE OLD MAN,MOVING INCONVENIENTLY WITH HIS WEAK PAIR OF LEGS...SMILED AND THANKED ME..THEN PATTED ON MY BACK PROUDLY.THANK YOU,THAT REALLY MEANS A LOT.LOLZ,APPRECIATED,THAT'S THE PART WHERE EVERYONE IN THE COACH WAS PRACTICALLY STARING AT ME..YES,I'M FELLING INSECURE.

PLEASE,YOUNG PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!!!!WHAT'S SO WRONG IN GIVING THE ELDERLY A SEAT...YOU'RE STILL YOUNG AND HEALTHY!!IT WON'T HURT TO STAND FOR A WHILE IN THE JOURNEY WITH YOUR STRONG PAIR OF LEGS.HAIZ.



(P.S.THIS POST HERE IS NOT FOR SHOWING OFF THE DEED I DID,IT'S FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY ANGST AGAINST TODAY'S IGNORANT SOCIETY...WHERE IS THE LOVE???HUMANITY IS HOPELESS..WTF..)

THE PREROGATIVES OF A WORKAHOLIC

I'M TRYING REALLY HARD TO CONNECT THE DOTS RIGHT NOW.EVERYTHING I DO,IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE WILL SURELY GO AGAINST IT..HMM..HINTS OF POLITICAL IDIOCRACY??YERPZ IT IS..MY FRIEND TOLD ME NOT TO GET YOURSELF INVOLVED IN SUCH ORGANIZATION...AS YOU DON'T FIND TROUBLES..TROUBLES FIND YOU.LOLZ..YES,I'M THE GUY WHO'S PAYING THE PRICE NOW...FOR PISSING PEOPLE OFF UNKNOWINGLY. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WAY BACK THEN PEOPLE THOUGHT THAT I WAS A NICE KID(INNOCENT EYES..),AND DON'T GET ME WRONG,I HATED TROUBLE...BUT THAT'S NO LONGER TRUE,MY IMAGE AND REPUTATION IS TAINTED WITH THE TOTAL COMPREHENSION OF THIS VULGAR WORD..(YES,FOR ME..XD.).ERM,YEAH,I'M TRYING MY BEST TO SAVE MYSELF NOW FROM TROUBLES..NOBODY'S PERFECT YOU KNOW..SO YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO IMPRESS PEOPLE TO LIKE AND RESPECT YOU THE WAY YOU WANTED THEM TO.EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...BEAR THIS IN MIND..AND WHEN YOU CAN'T DO IT...JUST DON'T DO IT....XD.IF THEY DON'T LIKE THE REASON COMING OUT FROM MY MOUTH,I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SINCE YOU'RE THE CONFLICT STARTER.YES,I HATED BEING THE ONE LIGHTING THE FIRE...ALL I WANT IS JUST A CALM SHOWER OF RAIN..YOU HEARD FROM ME...THE WORST METAPHOR IN THE CENTURY.

CALL ME NEUROTIC...OR JUST STAB ME BEHIND MY BACK..I DON'T REALLY CARE AT ALL WITH YOUR BACKBITING..I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING..AND I KNOW WHETHER IT'S RIGHT OR WRONG THROUGH THIS WONDERFUL GIFT I HAD CALLED 'CONSCIENCE'..ALL I CAN DO NOW IS TO SMILE AND GET OVER EVERYTHING..WHILE TRYING MY BEST TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

JUST LIKE THE OL'WISE WORDS FROM THE TWO LEADING SPORTS APPAREL EMPIRES..
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING..JUST DO IT
YEAH,YEAH,YEAH,BLAH BLAH BLAH....XD.

BTW,THANK YOU GAL FOR BRIGHTING ME UP..IT HELPS A LOT..THANKS.XD.

BACK AGAINST THE WALL

TENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY!!!!!!
THERE'S JUST WAY TOO MANY THINGS TO DO IN SUCH SHORT INTERVAL...
I KNOW..
IT'S UTTERLY USELESS TO POUR ALL THIS SOUR STATEMENTS IN MY BLOG..
BUT AT LEAST THIS IS SOMEPLACE ELSE WHERE I CAN TALK TO MYSELF,THE WALL..OR..THE AIR..
EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE FALLING APART AROUND ME..
THERE'S NOT EVEN A SINGLE CLEAR PATH AVAILABLE FOR MY JOURNEY..
I'M SICK..I'M TIRED...AND OF COURSE..GOT WAY TOO LOST..
I STILL REMEMBER..
THAT WHAT A SHAME OF ME...
TO MOTIVATE MYSELF THROUGH STUPID INSPIRATIONAL TALKS...
THOSE WERE JUST BS...
I'M DONE...
SERIOUSLY DONE THIS TIME..
I JUST GOTTA GO SOMEWHERE..
TO FIND IT AGAIN...
HAIZ.

HALF OF MY HEART IS A SHOTGUN WEDDING TO A BRIDE WITH A PAPER RING

SOMETHING IN THIS SENTENCE SHOOK ME..
NOT SURE WHAT IT IS..
BUT THERE'S THIS SUBTLE KIND OF FEELINGS REFLECTING ME..
AND MY ATTITUDE IN THIS FIELD..
IT SHOWS THAT HOW A MAN CAN BE SO VULNERABLY IN LOVE..
AND AT THE SAME TIME HE'S NOT GIVING HIS BEST TO MAKE UP THE REST..
THE REST OF THE FAILURES..
THE REST OF THE IMPERFECTNESS..
AND THE REST OF THE PASSION..
YES,HALF OF MY HEART IS INDEED A SHOTGUN WEDDING..
BUT I'M NOT SO SURE REGARDING WHAT TYPES OF RINGS SHE'S GONNA WEAR..
LOOOLZ...

SERIOUSLY,I NEED SHOTS AND BOOZE...ESPECIALLY VODKA...LOOLZ..(WINKY WINK..)

WOULD YOU BE HAPPIER?

IT'S LATE MORNING NOW...
HERE I AM..
STILL SITTING IN FRONT OF MY LAPPIE...
ALL STRESSED OUT AND WASHED OUT..
I'VE LOST A LOT OF THINGS IN THIS LIFE..
BOTH IMPORTANT AND NONE..
I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE YOU..
HOWEVER..MOST OF ALL,
I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE YOUR HAPPINESS..
THAT'S A TERRIBLE PRICE TO PAY...
HOPE THAT YOU'RE STILL FEELING ALRIGHT..
AND THANK GOD..
YOU DID..SMILE AGAIN..FINALLY..
XD.

LABELS OF LOVE

HERE'S THE DEAL,I'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR QUITE A LONG TIME...WHICH MAKES IT AN OLD NEWS(ONLY MY CLOSE FRIENDS KNEW ABOUT IT..).AND YES,SORRY...AS I HAVE LIED TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF MY UNI-FRIENDS FOR BEING SINGLE(WTF!!..).I'VE RECENTLY SWITCHED MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS TO 'IN A RELATIONSHIP',WHICH I REALISE FOR NOW THAT...IT'S A GRAVE MISTAKE!!!YOU SEE,HERE'S THE DRILL,WE DON'T NEED LABELS FOR LOVE...WHETHER WE'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP...OR STILL JUST BE FRIENDS..AS LONG AS WE TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER...AND HELPING EACH OTHER...THAT IS ALREADY THE EXISTENCE OF 'LOVE'.I DIDN'T POST UP THE RELATIONSHIP STATUS BEFORE NOT BECAUSE OF COWARDNESS OR LOW SELF-ASSURANCE.I'M ACTUALLY DOING IT IN RESPECT TO EACH OTHER'S MUTUAL PRIVACY...NOW THAT WHAT SHOULDN'T BE DONE...HAS BEEN DONE...LET'S JUST TREAT THE STATUS AS A 'NOTIFICATION' INSTEAD OF SOMETHING GLORYFYING(WHICH APPARENTLY IT'S NOT.).

ONCE AGAIN,SORRY FELLAS....I LIED..XD.

WILL THE REAL DELON PLEASE STAND UP?

NOW YOU SEE,I'M A COMPLICATED GUY..JUST LIKE 'THE JOKER',I'M UNPREDICTABLE..AND IS A COMPLEX PERSON.YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY MIND..AND YOU'LL NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND A FREAK LIKE ME.YES,THERE MAY BE SOME HIDDEN TALENTS IN ME...HOWEVER,I'M HERE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF.

SOMETIMES,I LIKE TO KEEP MYSELF QUIET..NOT BECAUSE OF ARROGANCE AND PRIDE, BUT TO RESERVE MYSELF IN MEDITATION..I AM ACTUALLY THINKING.SILENCE IS GOLD.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHEN DO I GET ANGRY..EVER.TRUST ME MY FRIENDS,I'VE NEVER THROW A TANTRUM ON ANYONE AT ALL..MAYBE THAT'S MY NATURE..KEEPING ALL THE THINGS INVISIBLE AND IGNORABLE.

IN CONTRARY TO WHAT IT SEEMS,I CAN'T DANCE...OH WAIT!!SCRAPE THAT,I WON'T DANCE...BECAUSE I DON'T DANCE..LOOLZ..XD

THE SAME TOO GOES FOR MY SINGING SKILL..XD

YES,ENGLISH DUDE...ENGLISH...

I'M ALSO SLIGHTLY CONFUSED IN COMPLICATING MYSELF IN EVERYTHING...RANGES FROM PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS TO WORK...OR STUDY...SEE,I'M BLURRED...THANK YOU..XD.

THAT'S ALL FOR TONIGHT'S CIRCUS..I GUESS...GOOD NIGHT..OR..(STUTTERED..)..GOOD MORNING..XD.